Kate Monro is the author of Losing It: How We Lost Our Cherry Over the Last 80 Years, published by Icon Books.

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Whats it all about?

  • Losing our virginity…it happens to almost all of us, no matter who we are or where we come from. How did it happen for you? Ever wondered what other people think and feel about this never-to-be-repeated experience? I am on a mission to find out. Follow my journey as I collect stories from as wide a selection of people as possible. From men and women, old and young, gay, straight, Christian, Muslim and Catholic, from the funny and the sad, to the happy and occasionally, the unbelievable. I am in search of the one story that we rarely share. Come and join my adventure.

Contribute your story?

  • Have you got a story you would like to post? Or an opinion you would like to share? Email me: [email protected] Remember to tell me when you were born and what country you come from. All names will be changed to protect identity.

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March 31, 2011



Hi Lara, it sounds like you are probably unaware as to the reason that a woman's virginity is so important, so I thought I'd share with you what I've learned. It's not because it will be some great orgasmic time or an unforgettable experience, for example, like you infer. That is, it won't be unless you properly understand the meaning of the action of losing your virginity. These things actually have nothing to do with losing your virginity. Sex for the first time with a virgin constitutes a blood covenant between the man and the woman. This is the oldest and most serious of human contracts, which, if a person breaks, there are very serious penalties. So it's a contract that is simply not broken. It's the same type of contract that God made with Abram when He passed between the flesh in Genesis 15:12-21 in order to confirm/seal His promise to him. This is why virginity is so important. This is the reason there is such a thing as virginity in the first place. The hymen is part of a God-given system that makes two people one for life.

The Virginity Project

Charles, I think its important to preface your words with in my opinion because this is, after all, just one point of view when it comes to the importance - or not - of virginity. Some might argue that it has a more practical provenance i.e. a womans virginity was one way of ensuring that property got transferred to the correct heir and not some interloper. Marrying a virgin was a good way of doing this. Its also critical to remember that judging a womans virginity - if we must judge at all - on whether or not she bleeds is ridiculous. Lots of women were not born with hymens and for those that were, they can be broken in all sorts of non sexual ways - long before she has sexual intercourse for the first time.

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