Location, location, location..

When Cordelia utters the words, ‘you can probably guess what the real plan was’…well, no actually, I wouldn’t have guessed in a million years that her plan was to lose her virginity in a dark fusty corner of the family garage but it did bring a smile to my face nonetheless.
It did also remind me how arbitrary virginity loss can be. That it is, after all, just one moment in a sea of other stuff. Because it’s not like this moment of fumbled union in a greasy old garage defines Cordelia’s relationship with her boyfriend. They have had penetrative sex for the first time. Nothing more, nothing less. During this moment, the world did not stop turning on its axis, angels did not weep, parents may well have felt let down had they known but it’s not like they are ever going to find out. The most important point is that contraception was used and two young people felt like they had taken the next logical step forwards in their relationship, and, you could argue, in their lives. Sooner or later we are going to have sex. Why not do it with someone that we actually have feelings for?
Would I feel the same if I were a parent? It’s hard to say. One of my dearest friends has a fifteen-year-old son. I remember the day that this child was born like yesterday. I saw his face before his own mother did, wired as she was from a two day labour and a cocktail of drugs that even Ozzy Osborne would struggle to injest. He is the closest thing I have to a child of my own. The fact that he is now engaged in a ‘grown up’ relationship of his own is amazing to me because it really does seem like 5 minutes since he emerged into the world. Would I stop him from doing that if I were his mother? I don’t think so. He’s going to do it anyway. Why not let him do it under a warm roof, in his own bed instead of having to resort to the school of silly locations.
Still, you can’t deny that the story below does make for a charming one. If we all lost our virginity in beds with the blessing of our parents, I don’t think this blog would be half as interesting. I lost my virginity next to a swimming pool but on balance, I would say that this garage has pipped me to the post.
‘Kate,
Here's my story. It happened about six months ago and took place in the US. I don't suppose it's the most romantic story in terms of events, but I wouldn't change it for the world - with the exception of changing the setting to include a bed. Enjoy :)
I was not going to sleep with him.
I was NOT going to sleep with him.
I was only sixteen, he barely fifteen. I refused to be a teenaged statistic; hadn't I read somewhere that the most common age to lose your virginity was sixteen? I wasn't going to be some hormone-driven, irresponsible high school-er, like a few of the other girls I knew. One of my friends was pregnant; one was always crying over some boy she'd slept with; one talked all the time about how painful it was for her, every single time. I didn't want any of that.
That's what I was telling myself all the way to my boyfriend's house. We'd only talked about it briefly during our last visit the weekend before, so I knew it wasn't going to happen today.
When I got there, I added another reason to my why-not-to-have-sex list: my boyfriend's parents were completely overprotective. We weren't allowed to be in his bedroom without the door being open. My parents weren't too much better. I put the thought of sex out of my head for a while and decided to just go with the flow.
For a while we sat and talked and snuggled as we always did. Then we moved to kissing, touching, all the while keeping an eye out for his parents in the hallway. I was impatient this particular day, literally snatching his hand from its place in my hair and shoving it down my pants. He made some comment about my being particularly wet today. I guess I hadn't really been able to push sex out of my head... but that did NOT mean I was going to sleep with him, no matter how much we both wanted to. Thinking back, I'm pretty surprised at how coherently I was thinking about all this, given that some pretty fantastic things were happening below my waistline.
When we finally pulled our hormones together and went back to cuddling and talking, I settled into a comfortable mindset. I knew he wouldn't pressure me for anything - he was too nice, too caring, and he loved me more than that, so why was I worrying about it? I decided to forget about it entirely.
A while later, we sat cross-legged, face-to-face. ‘You're beautiful,’ he told me softly. ‘So beautiful. I love the way you look, the way you feel under my hands and in my arms, everything about you.’ I remember the look in his eyes, an almost sleepy but happy look as he told me he loved me. It wasn't the first time, not by a long shot, that we'd sat just like this and said those words. But this time was different. As I said ‘I love you too,’ something clicked in me and I realized: I was going to sleep with him.
It was another month or so before we got the chance to do the deed, though; like I said, overprotective parents. That day, two of my boyfriend's friends were also over, and we'd all decided to go for a walk. At least, that's what we'd told his parents. You can probably guess what the real plan was.
The house had two garages, one of which was used as a sort of shop for building and repairing things and so on. That one had a side entrance that was never locked. His friends agreed to stand watch outside while we went in and did the deed.
I didn't expect to be nervous, not at all. And I wasn't, till we entered the garage. It was dark - we had to feel our way to the one small area that wasn't covered with tools and wood and other random junk. I was almost shaking with nerves. He asked if I was sure, and I said yes, even though at this point I really wasn't.
We started kissing then he lowered himself to his knees. I'm short, so this was actually a more comfortable angle for me, but I got onto my knees too. He reached for my jeans, and I backed away. ‘I can do it,’ I insisted. ‘Undress yourself.’
We half-undressed, his pants around his knees and my shirt still on, then I lay down. He had me fumble for my phone and hold it up so he could use the light to put the condom on, which took a good two minutes. I lay back down, and he knelt over me.
It was less painful than I'd expected, more of a pressure than a pain. I would almost compare it to that feeling you get when your chest is congested and you give a cough that you can feel is breaking up the gunk in your throat.
Was this what it felt like, having somebody inside you? It felt like so much less of an ordeal than I'd expected. It was... all right, I supposed. But I was glad that I was sharing it with him.
Now I realize that he was going slowly and gently, but it felt entirely too fast and hard for my liking - it hurt a little bit now - but more importantly, I wasn't getting too much sensation out of it. I did enjoy our closeness, though; that was, perhaps, the best part of the experience. Part of the way through I smiled. ‘We're having sex,’ I whispered. ‘We're having sex’, he answered.
Then nerves kicked in again, almost at panic level. ‘Ow, it hurts,’ I said, very nearly a lie. ‘Hon, it hurts too much now, you have to stop!’ So he pulled out.
‘I know it hurts sweetheart. If we don't finish it now, get through the pain,’ he told me, trying to comfort me with his voice as he coaxed me; ‘we'll just have to do it next time. Better to get it out of the way.’
This gave me enough time to realize that my moment of panic was silly, so I took a deep breath and told him to start again. There was no pain now, only pleasure.
After we were done - which was decidedly soon, since it was the first time for both of us – we scrambled to dress in the dark. Once we were decent, I wrapped my arms around him and we just held each other for a minute. Then we went out to face his friends.
‘Did you do it?’ one of them asked. We nodded. In typical guy fashion, they all exchanged fist bumps while I blushed like, well, a girl.
All in all, I don't think it was a big deal. I absolutely didn't regret it at all and honestly didn't really understand why anyone would; it's just an action. I suppose I might feel differently if I had lost mine under different circumstances.’
Six months later, we're still together. I like to think we're a lot better at sex - it actually feels good now! But, unfortunately, we still have to find ‘interesting' places to sneak around and do it. Most of the time we've opted for a clearing in the woods by a local golf course, and we've also hidden behind some bushes in the backyard. To date, we've only had sex indoors three times. And only two of them involved a bed.
Hope you enjoyed!
Cordelia :]