Kate Monro is the author of Losing It: How We Lost Our Cherry Over the Last 80 Years, published by Icon Books.

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Whats it all about?

  • Losing our virginity…it happens to almost all of us, no matter who we are or where we come from. How did it happen for you? Ever wondered what other people think and feel about this never-to-be-repeated experience? I am on a mission to find out. Follow my journey as I collect stories from as wide a selection of people as possible. From men and women, old and young, gay, straight, Christian, Muslim and Catholic, from the funny and the sad, to the happy and occasionally, the unbelievable. I am in search of the one story that we rarely share. Come and join my adventure.

Contribute your story?

  • Have you got a story you would like to post? Or an opinion you would like to share? Email me: [email protected] Remember to tell me when you were born and what country you come from. All names will be changed to protect identity.


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July 22, 2010


Robert Scarth

These two Wikipedia articles make interesting reading in light of the above piece:


hmm, I wonder if this was really the forum for such a nutter..the connection is tenuous at best and really all that has happened is that he now has a forum for his crazy ideas. Free speech is a great idea in principle. This shows when it is not.

In summary, I have never before read such a load of old codswallop. This guy reminds me of the freak who blew himself up in the film 'Contact'. Remember the one with the blond hair and manic grin!

'Genetic programming' blah blah blah..
these sorts of people are what frightens me about this world.

Ignorance and superstition rule their miserable and unsatisfying lives. They are desperate for someone or some ideology to tell them what to do (read religion or what they think is religion), then they want to inflict their misery and ignorance on us..OH MY GOSH!..'deep sigh'

Please, please remove this post. Your project is interesting and insightful yet is demeaned by the bile and nonsense that this crazy has defiled your site with.

'Satan, blood sacrifice and primal urges '
Where on Earth do these fruitcakes hide?


I agree - this simply opens up your site to more crazies.


This guy seems to be a bit insane. I have never read a more disturbing commentary and only serves to illustrate why religion should be left in the dark ages where it was born. Along with this extremist.


I think it's slightly ridiculous that you jump to the conclusion that this is a guy with a "big imagination and an empty bed". Surely anyone who emails you can lie, so second-guessing the content of emails on a site like this is pointless. I can see it if someone claims to have lost their virginity to Bigfoot, but otherwise why bother?

The content doesn't seem that implausible. He's constructed a rationalisation for continuing to enjoy his success in getting women to sleep with him that incorporates religion. I think it's revealing that the idea of a man who fetishises virginity while behaving like Casanova is more disturbing for you than a man who does it from the privacy of his mom's basement. His apparent promiscuity has likely done more to combat the abstinence movement than you ever will.

The Virginity Project

Dave, I hear you - and I agree - there would be little point in constructing a story as elaborate as this one for something to do. However my suggestion that he was a a lonely loser with a big imagination was just that...a suggestion. Its not nessesarily my opinion.


Mentally ill. Don't be surprised if he kills one day. The man's crazy.


Yep, unhealthy and deluded.

"when I sow my issue inside her, she seems soiled."


I feel soiled after reading that! But then again, I'm not a virgin so actually AM soiled.


Those posts - Casanova seeking a true virgin, or the unable-bodied one - show how we build our lives with our thoughts.
Readers may think that it is just a made-up story because they are able to build and try to follow their own ; even if it appears insane or mean or what else for the others.
Now I believe Kate, that you shall keep a fair balance between plain beautiful stories and improbable romance or follies.


I used to be Catholic, let me teach you something Mike: God said chastity is for both women and men. Just read Genesis and you'll see it's there ok?


I have never read a more sexist and disturbing comment. I agree with the other comments that he's just trying to justify his manwhore/player ways with religion.

It's disturbing that in this day and age, there are still people who think that a woman is a 'sinner' just because she's had sex with someone before. At least the girl probably gave it to a boyfriend when they were in love. This guy gave away his virginity to a random girl who babysat him when she was 13 and he was 14. Who needs a babysitter at 14? And with the way he gave away his virginity, what right does he have to judge other people?

Also more evidence that there are deluded people who twist religion to serve their purposes. (And in his case, using religion completely inaccurately as well.) Ridiculous.

Kate Monro

Grant, I promise I will follow up in a day or two with something quite, quite different. Watch this space!


So glad I live on another continent and don't have to be near this freak of nature.


That dude is all kinds of damaged.


i feel sick from reading this. im young and very much in love with my first boyfriend. i am offended that he thinks our generation is corrupted by 'Satan' because we have sex before marriage, i am also extremely offended that he thinks men can just 'test' virgins to think they're worth marrying. if he thinks so much of this then maybe he should keep his dick in his pants so he can stop " lamenting each time a girl loses her virginity to him, because there goes another prospective bride." and ruining women's "usefullness as a wife" or whatever bullshit he was trying to say.
i seriously hope he gets some horrific sti; i cannot convey how angry this has made me. i have no regret of losing my virginity at a young age, i do not feel soiled and ruined and if any man thinks im not a worthy wife just because i've "already had some other guy inside my reproductive tract" then he can get fcuked.


Hey, he did say he's a writer. Probably one of those neurotic realists who live in their heads, are bent on religion and can't get published so they eat their novels. He needs help. The professional kind.

new balance

When we meet wind; we can adjust the heading circuitous road, However, when the sea, and we want to surfy parked in situ, then broke down. Beware, the young pilot, don't let your rope loose, don't let your anchor moved, don't you have found, the boat was adrift.Do you think so?

Teresa Stokes

I am astonished by his claim that he wants a true equal for a wife. His true equal could only be a woman who feels the same way, i.e. she too would only marry a virgin. He isn't one, of course, so this is impossible. I can't wait for him to meet the girl who refuses to sleep with him because she is saving herself for marriage, he then thinks "Yes!! Found her at last!" but she turns him down because he is not as chaste as her. The Catholic church says sex of ANY kind outside of marriage is a sin, so he doesn't know what he is talking about when he says it is not sinful for him to have sex because he has to test everyone. I think he has simply been inventing his own religion to suit himself!

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