Kate Monro is the author of Losing It: How We Lost Our Cherry Over the Last 80 Years, published by Icon Books.

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Whats it all about?

  • Losing our virginity…it happens to almost all of us, no matter who we are or where we come from. How did it happen for you? Ever wondered what other people think and feel about this never-to-be-repeated experience? I am on a mission to find out. Follow my journey as I collect stories from as wide a selection of people as possible. From men and women, old and young, gay, straight, Christian, Muslim and Catholic, from the funny and the sad, to the happy and occasionally, the unbelievable. I am in search of the one story that we rarely share. Come and join my adventure.

Contribute your story?

  • Have you got a story you would like to post? Or an opinion you would like to share? Email me: [email protected] Remember to tell me when you were born and what country you come from. All names will be changed to protect identity.

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February 21, 2009



Thank you so much for sharing this. It's extremely interesting. The ambiguity of it all, the complexity. Thank you.

Kate Monro

I'm glad you appreciate this story, I think its pretty amazing too...


This story reads like it could be and likely is a piece of erotic fiction.

The tone of the story is that "we are just a normal couple where things gradually shifted until we found ourselves in this odd spot".

A lot of BDSM erotica follows this exact same anatomy.

Being a househusband is still a threatening situation for many men, so I am suspicious of him describing it at length as a prelude to a fairly ordinary bedroom experiment, but one that would be "too much" for a man already dealing with being a househusband.


lol wut


How did Lynette become so adept at this if this was her first time as well? By this telling, she appears to be experienced at pegging.

Vickie P.

Wowee! Love this account from the man's point of view. Love how the role reversal is considered, but it's not the whole point of pegging (at least for me and many women). It doesn't *have* to be about dominance and submission. It's about loving and feeling good -- for both the man and the woman.


I think your entire take on this experience is a product of both your Catholic upbrining and as a result, the ingrained inhibitions you clearly struggle with. I was really taken aback by this part

"She also said, mimicking a cornerstone on which patriarchy is based, that she felt surprised at how easily I'd let her do what she was doing and in a way lost some respect for me. I nodded. I was surprised by that too and a little angry that that was how she felt. After all, I'd just done what she wanted me to."

Its like you necessarily associate sex with the roles of aggressor and victim. Your entire explanation of your understanding of sex is so littered with shame and guilt and it's shocking. Even the description you offer of taking your wife's virgnity places her as the victim of your penetration where as you, perceiveing her expression of fear, shame and guilt, necessarily see your self as the aggressor.

What is most fucked up to me is that this has become what gets you off. Both of you! Your wife, the vicitm, is so caught up in this role that she is actually repulsed by the fact you, the normal source of her victimization, is capable of exhibiting the weakness she normally associates wiht her own role in bed.

Man you guys have so many issues! Dude, you got fucked in the ass, and it was fucking great, you came 4 fucking times in one session. Its not about you submitting to what SHE wanted, or you being weak, you wanted it. You woulnd't have done it otehrwise. She wanted it. She wants it when you penetrate her. That is empowering, desire, is empowering. You are controlling your own desires. Fuck, you make it sound like everytime you have sex one of you is raping the other. I mean holy shit!!!


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hahaha, God i love those lovely times when write things listen ''do it again'', good times, good stuff!


I think you are not quite right and you should still studying the matter.

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Nothing like a honey poppin' your pooper.


Merry Christmas! I wish you a lot of gifts and luck in the new year.


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Hey! This post couldn't be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this article to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

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