Being the crack-berry addict that I have become, it’s all I can do not to email people back from wherever I am, at whatever time of the day or night. Mahesh was a case in point. But being as I was hosting my own Christmas party at the time and several sheets to the wind, on this occasion, I held back. Probably a good thing because a story like this requires the gentle touch and three vodka and sodas was not going to help me apply it effectively. (Please note: I am also the world’s worst lightweight). Here is what made me want to weep into my drink just a little bit that night….
‘Hi Kate,
I recently came across your blog and I find posts witty and informative. I am part of the few who make up the lowest rung of the social ladder. An outcast of Humanity, no friendships or relationships. An existence of Misery. You already know how I lost my virginity by now. Yeah, I paid a prostitute to have sex with and had my first kiss with her too. We were both twenty-two years old.
I was born in Nepal and when I was eleven we moved to UK to live with my father, who was then serving in the British Army. I struggled to fit in from the first day and in coming days & years spiraled into who I am now.
This may disgust you, but that's my reality & how it happened.
Regards
Mahesh.’
On the contrary and from the sober safety of a Sunday morning, I assured Mahesh that his story, and he himself, most certainly did not disgust me. Far from it. My only instinct was to try and bolster the confidence of someone who had clearly taken a brave step forwards. I have said this too many times - but life is too short to feel crap about stuff that can be changed. Might he feel the benefit of some talking therapy? It seems that I had hit the nail right on the head:
‘Hi Kate,
Thanks for your considerate reply.
Fortunately I did accept help a month ago and it has helped me in every way. I have grown more in a month than in all my life before. I only wish that I'd been there years before. Now I can see where and how I want to live my life, but when I see how far away I am, I get panic attacks and bouts of deep depression.
The woman I was with was respectful and considerate. She made me at ease and I enjoyed my time with her. She also completely changed my perceptions about sexual workers. She was a student in a local university, doing this of her own free will. I was surprised how pretty she was when I met her. I never imagined girls like her doing this. Intelligent, beautiful and from a ‘well-off’ background. Maybe I was extremely lucky finding her and her choosing me as I confessed I was a virgin and had never kissed a girl in an email. Rather than be repulsed, she wanted me!
The sex was just incredible. There is no other way to describe it. It was more than everything I had imagined. But I also want to make a point about how virginity isn't just a physical thing, I realised this after I lost it. Rather, the emotional aspect is as important and one that was completely missing during my first time. I feel that this emotional part can only come through a loving relationship. I have only begun to develop socially and emotionally but I am already reaping the rewards and later on in life, I know I will have good friendships and loving/rewarding relationships with women.
She was a step in me receiving help. So there you go, losing virginity gave me a new birth in life!! I am now a Virgin in Life.
Regards
Mahesh.’
Alls well, it seems, that ends well.
Hiya Mahesh (& Kate!)
A happy Xmas to all! My first and last sex worker put a condom up my /worker/, I was unprepared and it was down. That's how I didn't lost my virginity then, we just talked for five minutes and I left a little sorry. I had to wait some more years!
The fact is that a friend had taken me to the red street, he sincerely wanted to help, I didn't even knew what it was to seek pleasure.
Posted by: Fig Kick | December 23, 2008 at 08:09 PM