Kate Monro is the author of Losing It: How We Lost Our Cherry Over the Last 80 Years, published by Icon Books.

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Whats it all about?

  • Losing our virginity…it happens to almost all of us, no matter who we are or where we come from. How did it happen for you? Ever wondered what other people think and feel about this never-to-be-repeated experience? I am on a mission to find out. Follow my journey as I collect stories from as wide a selection of people as possible. From men and women, old and young, gay, straight, Christian, Muslim and Catholic, from the funny and the sad, to the happy and occasionally, the unbelievable. I am in search of the one story that we rarely share. Come and join my adventure.

Contribute your story?

  • Have you got a story you would like to post? Or an opinion you would like to share? Email me: katemonroe@yahoo.com Remember to tell me when you were born and what country you come from. All names will be changed to protect identity.

Whats happening in the sky?


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October 06, 2008



I do not think the "archaic" or traditional sense of virginity implied (or rather, intended to imply) that one becomes used or damaged. To me, the notion has always been about keeping things simple.

Although everyone is different, the first time is the most unique experience, at least from a chemical perspective. The unique release of chemicals in the brain imply (i.e., probably not true this generation) the strongest emotional response and bonding. While this was not known when "those" impressions of virginity were established, I feel the worth and effect of this phenomenon was why they were created.

While I am not supporting the old ideas of virginity, I really feel they have been skewed and disfigured to appear completely disagreeable, when in reality they are reasonable. I blame our generation for this manipulation, because we have to be the rebels, outrageous, go against the grain, and other exaggerated "we are so amazing we are the first to do this" types of behavior.

As far as SATC goes, I know one girl from my quiet hometown who tried to follow the show to a tee. She now is penniless in NYC, an emotional wreck, but apparently couldn't be happier.

That, and she has lung cancer. Needless to say, I never saw the appeal!

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