Your stories
Some months ago I performed what I can only describe as ‘speed interviewing’. Via my blog, a man got in touch. He wanted to tell me about his first time. I was delighted because it involved a prostitute - a story I had been seeking for some time.
He was busy and so was I but in between the birth of children – (his), and a busy workload, (mine), he raced down to London and as we huddled behind the glass doors of my agency meeting room, he told me and my tape recorder all about his first time. It was just the tale I wanted to hear.
The word ‘prostitute’ has negative connotations but there was nothing negative about this story. It was full of bravery and hope. He painted a visceral picture of the confidence this experience gave him. His first ‘non-paying’ experience followed swiftly afterwards.
Fast-forward and here is the other side of the coin. A dark little tale from my new correspondent in Turkey. Two different stories, two different cultures. Even though, as Zeki* tells it, ‘everyone in Turkey wants to live like celebrities do’. Sound familiar?
Zeki. Born 1979. Lost virginity aged 15
‘I'd like to tell you how I lost my virginity. I was exactly fifteen years old when I lost it. Me and one of my friends used to hear about prostitute house here in Turkey and one day we decided to visit there but we didn’t intend to have sex because we were shy but we suddenly decided to have sex because we had no gfs. It was the most excited moment of our lives. That’s all I can tell you,
Take care’
What, I replied, was a gfs?
‘Hi Kate, ‘gfs’ means girlfriends. I meant in the past, not many people could be in relationships because of some district rules by family. In the past times of Turkey, when you have a GF, you have to hide it from her family and if you take her virginity you got a big trouble because you had to marry her in the end!
That’s why my generation used to go to prostitute houses to pay and have sex! But I must tell you one of my friends story about this house. The women who work in prostitute house usually behave the men in a very bad way during sex. They force you to finish as quickly as you can even though you are paying.
One of my friend was very shy and attempted to have sex with a woman and she behaved him in a shit way. She said, ‘You got a lil dick and if you marry someone you will never ever be able to make your wife happy’. In the end, he couldn’t forget this years. He never told this story to any of his friends and he decided to go to prostitute house and kill the woman who told him those things. He injured her very badly with a knife. We read about it in the newspapers.
But now Turkey is definitely different. Everything is changing, especially relationships. The people don’t need marriage to have sex and in my opinion, the reason is that TV changes people’s life style. Everyone wants to live like celebrities do. Turkish people want to live in richness so much! It’s everyone’s dream here except me. All I need is a happy life, not a rich life. Money is nothing if you can’t find happiness.
Maybe you have some clues why I always have regret for losing my virginity with a prostitute. Do you know I haven’t done any sexual things with someone for five years? You should be able to guess how hard it is for a man but I have a promise to myself. I won’t have sex till I find the right person. I want to feel like a virgin again.
We will see at the end of the day. Sorry I gotta end here as I am very sleepy Kat.’
*All names changed to protect identity.
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