I’ve used that line before but forgive me, it’s a good one and apt considering I abandoned my blog like an unwanted pet for the festive season. Truth be told, I’ve missed the little bugger like mad but needs must. There is nothing quite so galvanizing as checking the Amazon link with your book on it and realizing that you haven’t actually finished writing it yet.
To that end, I have risen every morning and crawled my way through the early morning darkness to the keyboard. I have drunk forty-five gallons of tea, read entire chapters aloud to the cat (he loved it) and generally lost the plot in the way that one only can when one is unable to leave the house for weeks on end. It was all worth it. I emerged this last Thursday, blinking into the light and clutching my - more or less – completed manuscript! Mission accomplished. To celebrate, I have a cheeky little story from a young man in NYC. Charles raises that old (Christmas) chestnut. How does a gay man lose his virginity? I asked him and this is what he had to say:
‘Well, I guess for man-on-man action, there are two V-cards you could lose. My friends and I have discussed this several times...and almost all of us have come to the conclusion that oral sex IS sex, but penetrative intercourse results in the loss of a V-card (this includes my LGBTQ and straight friends). We haven't done a scientific study to back it up but I guess from personal experiences we've found the penetrative act to be more intimate.’ He also made this rather interesting point. ‘Also, had I been a heterosexual woman offering up my wares for free to a heterosexual man, I almost guarantee that it would have been a different outcome, and I would have hung my V-card up six years earlier...’
This is how it happened.
‘I'm Charles, born in the US in 1983, raised in Germany and moved to the US later on. I have a super European liberal minded mother, but to spite her liberal awesomeness (but mainly for schlepping me back to the US), I decided to join a super evangelical Christian church. Sex wasn't much of a taboo in our household, but I was a bit verklemmt* about the whole sex thing after the religious morals that were taught to me in the church. Although I didn't think it was a big deal and as my friends were losing their virginity's, I just kind of shrugged my shoulders and thought ‘to each his/her own!’ I did the whole Christianity thing for a while and I eventually realized that it wasn't my cup of tea.
In college, I realized that, whoops! (Surprise, surprise) I liked the boys. It wasn't really much of a surprise, but it didn't help make the sex situation easier. When I was 20, I finally decided it was time to get things going and I made out for the first time ever. Making out once with a guy led to many times with many people (guys and girls) and I was quickly versed in the ways of non-penetrative sex. Finally I was ready to ‘go all the way’ and this is where my five-year long journey of trying to get ‘it’ starts.
First guy...a couple of dates, I'm ready and willing and waiting. He knew I was a 'virgin' and when I asked him to help me get rid of that label, he said ‘I can't do that to you. You're so innocent!’ Yikes! Strike one. Saw him once or twice after that, and I tried, tried, tried soooo hard, but it just wasn't doing it for him. After that I went on a rampage for a few months working it like a hooker a month before Christmas. After a couple of more ‘you're so innocent’s’, I gave up and only tried a few times a year to no avail.
Then comes the week before my 26th birthday and I decided that this was it. I was going to get laid and not give a damn what anyone else thought. I started working it like crazy again but also decided at this point that I wanted a perfect dick for my first lay. After a few short months, I finally found him. Tall, dark, handsome and with an accent. He takes me home, we start doing our thing, and then I see it. A fantastic specimen. So I asked him if he'd ‘do it’. He asked if I'd done it before, and I just said ‘yes, of course!’ So we did it, and it was amazing. I never told him that I hadn't done it before, but oh well. Only saw him once more a few months later, and it was still good.
Do I hate the fact that I had to lie to someone to get what I wanted? Yes. Am I glad I did? Hell yeah! Was it necessary? Probably...I might still be running around begging, begging, begging for a lil' something-something had I not.’
*verklemmt = emotionally inhibited in a convulsive way; stuck