Greek islands are nice and all but frankly, who needs them? I mean really, I would so much rather be back here in the Smoke, working, hustling for my next day job and generally contemplating the incoming British winter.
Seriously, things aren’t so bad in my world. For one, it appears that I bought the beautiful weather back home with me and for another, The Virginity Project and I have much to celebrate together. If I didn’t say it enough already, I am over the MOON to be nominated in the final of the Cosmopolitan Blog Awards 2011, not only for The Virginity Project, but also for Big Guy Small Dog Blog. Both of these nominations were a huge surprise to me and if you would like to help me win, please vote for me here. The Virginity Project is in the sex & relationships category, Big Guy Small Dog Blog in the Handpicked Media lifestyle section.
As if that weren’t enough, I went this week to see the first run through of ‘The Virginity Project’: the play. It opens next week at The Tristan Bates Theatre in Covent Garden and watching the voices come alive on the stage last night was fascinating. If you live in London, come along and say hello. If you don’t, worry not, it is going to be streamed live from Camdentheatres.com and the whole production promises to be a unique, interactive theatrical experience. Come join!
Meanwhile, on a more somber note, lets take a trip down memory lane and recall the first person who really let us down. We all have one. There is something quite special, in a bittersweet way, about the first person who takes your heart, tramples lightly over it and hands it back to you slightly bruised. But it’s a rite of passage in much the same way as losing your virginity is. It’s a part of life. Sadly for today’s storyteller, it’s a two in one deal. Virginity loss AND being let down. Still, she lives to tell the tale and she tells it well…..
Born 1988, England
‘When I was 19, I gathered all my savings, gave my notice in at work and for the flat I was renting and got on a plane to Australia. I went on my own because I wanted to. I was fed up with seeing the same people all the time and wanted to do something different for a year. I headed to Brisbane and stayed in a hostel in the city. I met new people every night and felt amazing. About 2 weeks in I went to a bar with my new friends and started chatting to Shane. I'd never been interested in boys back home and they'd never been interested in me, but he was something special. We chatted all night and spent the following weeks together.
We'd kiss and touch but I'd always stop things just as they progressed. I could tell it frustrated him but he'd put on a smile and we'd cuddle instead. After 6 weeks of 'no nookie' he got fed up and left Brisbane without telling me. I found out after a guy who worked in the hostel asked me if I was missing him yet. I cried constantly for 3 days and became completely withdrawn. None of my new friends could get through to me. A week later I packed my bags and moved up the coast to Cairns. I made a resolution to get a grip, make more friends and forget about Shane.
On my second night in Cairns it was New Years Eve. I made my way to the centre of town, found a backpacker bar and ate dinner on my own. Gradually I started chatting to people and decided to see out the night there. I was never really a massive drinker but I drank a lot that night. A guy whose name I don't remember kissed me at midnight and shortly after shoved his hand up my dress, so I told him to fuck off and left the bar.
I was staying a 10-minute walk away and the streets were full of people celebrating, making out and throwing up. I saw Shane only about 200 yards outside the bar, he smiled at me and came over. As soon as he hugged me I burst into tears on him and within the space of 10 minutes I told him I hated him, loved him, never wanted to see him again, wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and asked him how he could leave me. He started to walk me back to my hostel; we kissed numerous times and eventually made it back to my single room. When we got in the door he pushed me down on the bed. It was exciting, I wanted to sleep with him and show him what he missed out on. I didn't tell him it was my first time, and if it was obvious he didn't say anything.
When I woke up in the morning he was gone and I was angry. I packed up my stuff again and came home for good. When I arrived home I lied to my friends, told them yes, I had FINALLY lost my virginity - to a gorgeous guy from Scotland who I met in a bar and had a whirlwind relationship with. I don't know why I bothered lying but I've regretted it ever since.
It was only last month when told my partner the truth about losing my virginity that I finally felt relieved! I was embarrassed up until then but he made me feel so much better about it. It feels so amazing to finally get my experience down in writing!