It feels strange writing this at the end of such an extraordinary day in London…and who knows what the night will bring. I’ve suggested taking to the streets of W9 and dancing to try and put the looters off their stride. If we can get through the night without anyone being seriously hurt, that would be a good thing. In the meantime, I’m contemplating this email from ‘Big Mick’. That’s not his real name but that’s the pseudonym he has used over the last few years to communicate with me.
When we started talking about the concept of LOVE on this blog recently, Big Mick wrote me this email. He doesn’t write much, but what he does write says so much. I hope you get the drift. What I really love about it is that his words seem resonant and relevant, even to people who are looting shops and stealing. At some point in the proceedings – and no matter what life has thrown at us – we have to come to the conclusion that there is a right and a wrong way to live our lives. Not just because it impacts on other people’s lives but because it’s better for our own peace of mind as well. I also love the fact that his Frenchness takes the edge off a story about adultery and makes it sound almost romantic. But mostly I just like the fact that after 32 years of marriage, he knows that it is his wife whom he loves the most.
when I loved myself enough ... I realised that, as much as I didn't need tobacco or alcohol nor even television to enjoy life in general, I didn't need another one than B., my 32 yr wife (we're both 58 now) to enjoy intimacy with a true other soul. I'd spent some years cheating, feeling anew, virgin sometimes - for the blessing of losing that - , but also innocent and all. The girl I name C. did not change, neither I, our love was neat and comforting once or twice a moment in the week. I resented at last the cheating and found out that I was cheating myself and also feared to be subject of more cheating from the rest of the world. Things happened, I felt bad and then I left her, it was quite hard for both.
Did I miss something, do I have something to prove now ? It should take more years to know. There is no one to fulfill every desire of love, every dream of relief, every fancy of pleasure. You do not have to fill all the gaps by yourself but no one will do that for you. Kate, I was glad to be able to tell this.
P.S. Is she 'the one' ? There is something sacred in a wedding and what I see is that we are not only made to be the other's company or delight. We are the souls in the same travel. We are the best and not complacent mirror. She helps me to find and cherish the man and the woman in me and unite them. why not. Children are big now, I'm a granda.’