What to say about today’s story? Well, I knew it was going to be a good one when I clocked the author’s use of the word ‘heinous’. Heinous is such a great word. Not so great when it’s used in conjunction with a story about virginity loss but a great word nonetheless.
‘First of all, I want to say that your blog is absolutely hilarious. Secondly, I also have a relationship blog that includes the story of how I lost the trusty V card to a heinous, heinous man. It's actually quite humorous in the aftermath.’
‘C’ makes a pertinent point and one that has struck me a lot over the years of story collecting. Time really does teach us a thing or two about perspective. I am frequently asked if I have any funny stories and to be honest, I spent a while chasing my tail trying to find one. I wanted something so ridiculous, so slapstick, that you could barely have made it up if you had tried.
In time, I realized that number one, anything can be funny if it’s relayed in the correct manner and number two, time enables us to see the humour in pretty much any situation. Even if there was nothing to laugh about at the time.
This story isn’t a side splitter. This is a story with a gentle humour, one that has had time to come to fruition, like a nice pear or a bottle of wine. If you had asked the writer to tell you the same story the day after it had happened, it wouldn’t, as they say, have happened.
But today we can appreciate the comedic qualities of a heinous man. Of a man who couldn’t give a monkeys if we went home with our breasts hanging out. Or indeed a man who thinks that using a banana-flavored condom is an acceptable pastime.
I rest my case. Of course it also helps that today’s writer is a cracking story teller. That never hurt anyone either.